Friday, September 13, 2013

Is this for real?

September 13/2013

Who said that Friday the 13th is un-lucky!

I am freaking out right now!!!! Jason just left for Man's Camp, I went to the drug store and bought a pregnancy test because I'm a few days late. There were 2 LINES on the stick!!!! OH MY WORD. I can't tell anyone right now. Jason is gone and I have to keep this to myself?!!! As soon as I saw the 2 lines I got on my knees and pleaded with my Heavenly Father to help this baby get through my fallopian tube and grow and develop properly. Instead of telling anyone I thought I should write it down because then it might seem real.

This is also very scary because my last and only pregnancy was an ectopic that ended in emergency surgery. I lost one of my fallopian tubes during that surgery. Earlier this year Jason and I have been to many appointments and actually had an appointment in Calgary this coming week to start INVITRO. 

It is Friday afternoon and my Dr's office is now closed, Jason is gone and I am screaming in my head. Ok I screamed out loud too :)

Can this be real? Is everything going to be ok this time? I jumped on the computer to see when my due date is and it says that our baby is due May 19, 2014! Happy Late Birthday present for Jason would be awesome. Oh my!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK.... what am I to do all night by myself? I am shaking right now. 4 long years of trying!!!! Please Heavenly Father let everything be ok. My thoughts are all over the place right now but I wanted to write my feelings down at this moment of excitement. 



September 14

Jason's home!!!! Yahoo! I can tell him. Last night I watched tv and made this sign to tell Jason. When he got home I had a sign on the counter to come upstairs. I had baby footprints printed out leading to the bedroom.

Here are a few pictures and video of his reaction.

It still doesn't seem real yet. The Dr in Calgary only gave Jason and I a 4% chance of getting preganant again. With myself only having 1 fallopian tube left and that tube was deformed as well and then Jason having a rare condition. This didn't give us high hopes of conceiving on our own. Well - all I know is that the test says I'm pregant and now to hope for the best.




Here is the link of how Jason found out

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ifb9dC11vCg


September 16

Called my family Dr today to get an appointment to see if I really was pregnant. The test came back positive!!!!! Yahoo!!!!!! Is this for real? Because of my past history they are sending me to get an early ultra sound next Monday to confirm that the embryo has implanted in my uterus and not in other tube. Its going to be a long week but all I can do is hope and pray that things are ok.

One year ago today - September 16, 2012 was my due date from my first pregnancy. One year ago today I was suppose to be a mom and though things didn't go as planned,  today is the day that I have confirmation from my Dr. that I am pregnant again

September 19

3.5 days down and 3.5 to go until the ultrasound. To say that I think about the development going on in my body is an understatement. Every ache in my body, every indigestion, every grumble in my stomach I am analysing. I know this is probably not good and that I should try not to stress. I have work appointments over the next few days and then Stake Conference this weekend so that should keep my mind off things and maybe Monday at 1:30 will be here before I know it. Until then....... stay tuned.


September 23

Today is the day! 1:45pm is the time and here we go........

Just got back from my ultrasound and baby is viable and managed to get through my misshapen fallopian tube and into my uterus.  We can't believe it. We aren't entirely sure how this all happened but we do know that our Heavenly Father has watched over and blessed us. Now to stay healthy and have a healthy pregnancy.

Now to keep things a secret for a few weeks. My parents are still on their mission and I want to tell them in person when they get back in a few weeks. We have decided to not tell anyone for a few weeks as I am only 6 weeks along. 

October 8th - My parents will be arriving this afternoon and I can't wait to tell them the great news. Last night we let Jasons mom know and also my siblings know as well. 

We sent flowers to Jason's mom  to tell her of the exciting news. 


When my parents pull into town we will be holding signs with the great news. The Grandchildren that were there held signs as my parents drove down the last block to their house. The signs read……
Yahoo!…. Welcome Home…… Elder Leavitt….. Sister Leavitt…… Good News….. Surprise…..
and then the last sign Jason and I were holding and it read….. "I"M PREGNANT"

My parents read the signs as they drive down the street. When my mom saw the last sign she screamed and then barely put the car into park. My dad hadn't seen the sign yet and wondered what was going on. They both jumped out of the car and ran toward us. I even got a hug before the grandchildren which is saying a lot. It was such a fun way to tell them and a moment that I will cherish forever. 












Sunday, September 8, 2013

Vacation of a Lifetime


Vacation of a Lifetime

(I have been on many vacations and family holidays but this last weekend tops the charts for me)


As I reflected back on this past weekend my heart is full of gratitude and love for my ancestors, for my family and for my Savior Jesus Christ.

The morning of August 30th every single one of my siblings and in laws met at Troy and Andreas home to depart of a few days. We were on our way to Wyoming to visit my parents and Uncle Blaine and Aunt Sheila on their mission. They are serving in the Rapid City Wyoming mission and are assigned to the Sixth Crossing Wille Center.  This past weekend was full of memories that I will cherish for the rest of my life. 

We had two vans going and during the trip we got lost from each other. One van went one way and one van went another way. We then got on our cell phones and were trying to still stay connected. About an hour before we were to arrive at our destination both vans met up with each other. Somehow we went 2 different routes but we eventually got back together before we arrived at Sixth Crossing where our Mom and Dad were.  The other van didn’t realize they were lost until they came to T-intersection and didn’t know which way to turn. There were times of frustration and wondering how we got separated but in the end we were so happy to all be together again. 








We all arrived around 7pm,  had dinner and then headed up to “ The Meadow” where my parents told stories of the pioneers and telling of the first rescue. The Willie Handcart Company had come to a point of exhaustion and were about to give up. They were caught in a snow storm, were without food and were about to lay down and die. Then over the hill they saw some men on horseback coming toward them and they instantly  had hope and faith that they would be ok. 
After that we headed back to the Ranch House and visited as a family. 

Mel’s boyfriend Troy Olsen also came over from Denver to spend the weekend together. Him and Mel seems so perfect together and it just seemed like he fits right in with our family. We played rook and told many stories. 








 At the Meadow 








The next morning we got up bright and early, had breakfast and were on our way for a day filled of activities. We got in our pioneer and cowboy clothing and headed out for our short trek. We met up with Uncle Blaine and Aunt Sheila who are also serving a mission there. We all went to the starting point and set out on our way up the hills and mountains. Once we got the Rocky Ridge we visited again as a family. It was a great experience to walk the same footsteps as our ancestors. It made you feel so grateful for everything that they went through and so humble for their sacrifice.



 We missed Sam in this picture. Her and Ryan hadn't got there yet. 




 Uncle Blaine telling us of the private ranch that they aren't suppose to go on . Even if they are missionaries, even if they have a quad ;)


Walking the Mormon Trail









Rocky Ridge 

















We then sat down for lunch as a family and had a little break before the next stop. 

The next location we went to was at Rock Creek Hallow.  Rock Creek Hollow is the location of the second time the Willie Handcart Company became
stranded. The Willie Company, due to extreme cold, exhaustion and lack of food, took
refuge at Rock Creek Hollow. Thirteen members of the Willie Company are buried in a common grave at this site with two additional members buried nearby. My parents and Uncle Blaine and Aunt Sheila told story after story about different members of the WIllie Handcart Company.  I was so amazed at the confidence and knowledge that each of them had as they told the stories.   

We walked on the ground that past prophets and apostles had walked, those that had gone before us that had given their lives so that we might have the gospel in these the Latter Days.  












Beautiful Wyoming Scenery and Sky





We got back to the Ranch House for supper and had a wonderful evening as a family together. It was wonderful to all be together as siblings and in laws with my parents. Alexi was also privileged to come and it was so much fun to have her there. 

Sunday morning we were off the church at Martins Cove. Another historical site where the Martin’s handcart Company came through and a memorial for their dedication and service. 
Sacrament service was in a barn/log house. Church service went on as usual and the spirit was so strong through the whole meeting. Others along with some of my family members bore their testimony and related their lives to the pioneers. Jason bore his testimony on Missionary work and how grateful he was for those missionaries that came into his home and changed his whole life. 

After Church we had a picnic, went through the visitors center, watched a few slideshows and then went on another hike up to Martins Cove. We were told that it was shorter hike but it was deceiving and was longer than we had thought.  It was 100 degrees outside and very dry. As we started on the trail I didn’t know if it was a good idea because of the extreme weather conditions. But in the end how grateful I was to take the journey and walk together as a family. 

I learned something new on every adventure and every walk/hike we did together. About half way to the Cove my dad was feeling very tired and exhausted. We came to a resting point for water and he had decided it would be best for him to stay back. I didn’t want to push him because of the extreme hot weather. As we walked away from him it felt weird. We were all going on without our Dad. It made us reflected on the lives of the pioneers. There were many that couldn’t make it and they just had to leave them behind and continue onward. With the eternal view in mind they knew that they would see their loved ones again just like we were going to see our Dad again on our way back down the trail. As we came back down the trail and saw our Dad sitting there waiting for us it was such a relief that he was ok and that he was able to finished the hike with us. We stopped at the statues and monuments of the 4 rescue boys. It was hard not to be touched by their selfless service and love for those around them. It made me stop and think of my own life and what I can be doing better. How can I serve more? How can I love more? How can I be like those Pioneers in my life today. Humble, meek, faithful, obedient and faithful to the Lord commandments. 












The Sweetwater River









From there we went back to the Ranch House to relax for a few hours. Right before dinner we had one last reenactment to do as a family. 

Everyone got back in their Pioneer/Cowboy attire and those who wanted to walk the short trail could and we each took a turn pulling the hand cart. 

We walked the short hike up a hill to where my Dad was waiting for us. He began telling us of the story of Jens and Elsie. After many hours and 1000 miles traveling by handcart her husband became very ill to the point that he could not make it any further. They came to a hill and he had to stop moving forward because he was cold and hungry and had nothing left in him. As him and his sweet wife (Troy and Andrea were playing the parts) knelt in prayer beside their handcart for strength and guidance. Elsie then helped her husband into the cart and was determined to push him up the last hill to where their company was. If they were to stop moving they both would have died but Elsie was determined to not let that happen. With not much strength left in her, she ( Andrea)  helped him in the cart, picked up the nose of the handcart and began pushing. She struggled but she was determined not to quit. Sometimes she would only push the cart 1 foot and then her knees would buckle. Every time she would get back up and try try again. As this all was going on my Dad was talking to the rest of us at the top of the hill. He was telling us to think of Elsie in the dead of winter, in a blizzard, only have 4 ozs of flour for the day, her body frozen but she had the determination  to get her husband up that hill. One by one my dad let each of us go and help her. Melanie was the first one to Andrea. They hugged each other with tears in their eyes and then began to push the cart again. When I had got there Aunt Sheila was on the back and Melanie and Andrea on the front. I grabbed ahold of that handcart and pushed with all my might to get my brother up that hill. There were tears in all our eyes. We got the picture! It all became very real to me what it must have been like for those dear pioneers. 

THis is one of my Dad’s favorite quotes that went along with this touching story. “Sometimes God lets you struggle and struggle and struggle, until you know you can't do it your self, then He sends help or some one to help ( rescue ) you.” 

One of my Mom’s favorite quotes is of  Young Betsy Smith of the Willie company " I will not dwell upon the hardships we endured nor on the hunger and cold but I like to tell of the goodness of God unto us.” 
How can we relate this story to our own life? Everyone took something different from this story and reenactment.  What struck me the most was what can I do more TODAY to make a difference? How can I ease someones pain? How can I serve as my Father in Heaven would want me to? How can I be selfless? I can do hard things with my Savior by my side. 











I love my family with all my heart. They really do mean the world to me and I love them all individually for who they are. Every single one of my siblings bring something different and special to the family. I am so grateful for each of their spouses/partners and love them like my own sister or brother. My relationship with them have changed and I love them even more today then I did yesterday. I love my husband with all my heart and I am so grateful for him. It may not have  been the number 1 thing on his list for the long weekend but he supported me. As we talked things over throughout the weekend I felt like we did grow closer. Whenever we have disagreements we ALWAYS talk things out and leave feeling better about our marriage. He does push me and make me want to be better. He reminds us to go to the temple, to have prayer and to better on our Scriptures. We work together as a couple and I am so grateful for that. Together we make each other better and become more like our Savior. 

To my dear parents. I TRULY TRULY feel like I have the best parents in the whole entire world for me. They are the most selfless people I have EVER met. They would be those pioneers that would give of their live for others. My dad would have been Archibald  Mc Fail who was determined to not leave that single lady behind. He would have sacrificed his life so that she could make it to Zion. My Mom would have been right beside him encouraging him to go look for her. She would have been there with her candlelight until he took his last breath. They both would have been the ones that would have gone without food so that others could make it . They probably even would have taken off their warm coats and mitts so that someone else would have been more comfortable.  I know that they BOTH, together as a team, would have given of their lives so that someone else might live to see Zion. They have done this throughout their whole lives and they would have done it as a pioneer. I love my parents with all my heart and I will strive my whole life to follow in their footsteps as they have followed in the footsteps of our Savior. I love my Savior. He knows me and he knows of my struggles. He wants me to grow and be like him. He wants me to pull up my socks and look, search and reach out to those around me and serve my fellow man. “I will help you all I can" -  Levi Savage.  I will try and live my life after my Savior Jesus Christ for he truly is the perfect example. I KNOW God lives more today than I did yesterday and I will continue to grow my relationship with him until I am kneeing at his feet and hopefully hearing those angelic words “ Well Done Thou Good and Faithful Servant.” 
I KNOW MY SAVIOR LIVES!!!  I know he came to earth so that we might all live again. He is my redeemer, he is my brother,  he is my friend.  


                               Carmen (Leavitt) Gourlie - Sept 2013